Separation

I am inching closer and closer to the day that I leave to go to Japan for the year. I leave on Friday, August 9th which leaves me only two full days here in the states. Since we found out that Joel got a JET position and that we were in fact moving to Japan, it never felt very 'real' to me. It has always seemed like we were dreaming of going. Joel's parents and I dropped Joel off in Chicago a couple weeks ago to catch his flight to Japan and to attend a JET meet and greet. I can still picture myself looking out of the back windshield at Joel as we drove away leaving him behind to make his way to Japan. With tears running down my face, it looked as if we were in a made for T.V. Lifetime movie.  Even then, it seemed like Joel was going away on business, taking a trip for school, or maybe going on vacation. Not staying there for good. 

Yesterday I went to my in-law's home to have dinner with them and to say goodbye. The past few weeks as well as the the next couple days have been filled with worrying about getting everything done, telling of my plans for the next year, and saying sappy goodbyes. Saying goodbye to my closest family and friends for the year has made it so surreal. The existence of the move has finally hit me, and the 'realness' that I was seeking is now ever present. 

I have never lived anywhere outside of my small hometown so it's hard to imagine a life without my family and friends being a short drive down the road. How will I feel when I can't drive fifteen minutes to my mom's house for Sunday morning breakfast or five minutes to my dad's office? How will I feel when I can't be there for my family or friends? I have no idea how I will react to this unsettling reality because I have nothing in my life to compare it to thus far. At the same time, I've been without my husband for two weeks. When I was describing how I felt to my dad I said "Too little time with family, too much time away from my husband." 

However like many things in life, it's a trade off. Often times you have to take a risk in life and put yourself out there to achieve what you want to achieve. I'm trading valuable time with my family and the comfort of my home for gaining knowledge, wisdom, and worldly experience. The dream I always had for my life was to gain insight and wisdom through travel, and now I have this great opportunity to do exactly what I've always dreamed of. I'm going to take the opportunity and run with it!