Lost in Translation Part 2

In the movie "Lost in Translation" Charlotte sits on the floor of her hotel room in Japan listening to a self help c.d. and trying to figure out her purpose in life. I definitely relate to this side of Charlotte because I too am on a quest to find my calling in life in Japan! In the United States dropping out of college is very taboo, and the norm is to go to college right out of high school. Some people have absolutely no problem with this and sail through with flying colors, however I was not one of those people. Sure at first I was very determined to find something to major in while in college, but becoming very depressed and pessimistic about my future, I decided to drop out and try to figure out what I truly wanted to do. That was one of the toughest decisions of my life, but thanks to my husband who is an inspiration everyday, I got through it and have opened up more possibilities for myself by doing so. 

I'm not sure what I want to pursue whether it be a college degree, being a stay at home mom, or being a traveler. They are all noble things to do. Through my travels and writing this blog, I have rediscovered my passion for culture, travel, and writing. I'm not sure where this will lead me but it definitely is something that I love to be involved in.

Joel inspires me so much because he was 27 when he went back to college chasing a dream. He was inspired by something, and it took great courage to leave the music world that he knew and loved to pursue something completely foreign to him. He was inspired by Japan, and now here we are immersed in what he loves and what I am beginning to adore. I wanted to see for myself what drove Joel to seek something self affirming, something tremendous. I am hoping that during my year here I can at least narrow down, if not be sure of what I want to pursue in life. I'm searching for something to inspire and entice me in that way, something that I can excel at. Wish me luck on my journey to find it.

Lost in Translation Part 1

As Joel and I browsed through the Netflix selections on the computer about a week ago, looking through loads of movie titles and letting our indecisiveness get the best of us, we came across a movie that we had been recommended. We decided upon "Lost in Translation" with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson. Many of you might have had the pleasure of watching this flick, but for those who haven't it's about a movie star who has a job to do in Tokyo. He meets this young woman who has followed her husband to Tokyo for his career, and they become great friends as they weave their way through their everyday life within the Japanese culture. They rely on each other for support because of the alienation they experience by being in Japan. From the very beginning, Joel and I were laughing at the experiences they encounter and the similarities between us and the characters. Joel has experienced many things Bill Murray's character goes through in the movie such as being the tallest person in the elevator and having extremely low shower heads that make you break your back to fit under. However I felt connected to Scarlett's character, Charlotte, in many ways and felt like I knew exactly what she was going through. The movie helped me realize things about my experience here and encouraged me to deal with them in the best way I know how.

For those who have seen the movie, I am connected with Charlotte because I can identify with her situation. In many ways Charlotte and I are having the same experiences. Just like Charlotte wonders around her hotel room looking for things to do, I wonder around our apartment. Just like Charlotte wonders through the city streets gazing at her new foreign world with wide eyes, I gaze and often get gazed at for being the only foreigner! She has no responsibilities in her life at that time besides supporting her husband and deciding what she wants to do with her life, both of which I do everyday. 

However on a deeper level, Charlotte experiences loneliness as well, which is something that I often experience throughout the week. I never thought that not working and virtually being on vacation for a year would be so difficult! I'm sure many of you are appalled by that statement and are thinking "I would like to have a year off." It is absolutely magnificent in so many ways but in some ways it's very alienating. I have no idea where I'm going and no idea what anyone is saying leaving me quite unsure about myself sometimes. I definitely feel very 'lost in translation' most days. I am left here with my thoughts all day, questioning myself and contemplating life's options. Being someone that has battled anxiety and depression at many points in my life, it scares me to let my mind wonder to a place that is lonely. Of course, I am not saying that my husband isn't there for me and doesn't keep me company because he is wonderfully supportive and is the best company I could ever have. But sometimes, your depression and loneliness is more personal and you have to have the courage to put yourself out there and pull yourself out of it. Feeling alone in a new city is something many people deal with, and I know that I can rise above that and overcome any depression I might be feeling at the time. Getting myself out there and observing one of the most complex and interesting cultures in the world is such a gift, and is sometimes the best remedy for depression and loneliness so matter how powerful! Rising above anything that is mentally hindering me from having the time of my life is something I have to do because this is exactly where I need to be. Sometimes your mind and your heart don't always feel the same, but when your feelings and your thoughts are aligned there is a world of possibilities, especially for my year here.